Our 'core' program consists of three parts. Parts ‘A’ and ‘C’ may be completed without ‘Part B’, but both ‘A’ and ‘B’ are recommended prior to beginning ‘C’.  Please note that Parts A and B may be taken in an all-day format in the Coachella Valley. Call 760 861-6448 for scheduling and more information. Click here to view testimonials.

Solutions for Children may require that both parents complete Part A before enrolling their children.  Unless one parent has sole legal custody, both parents’ must consign consents for children to begin the Solutions for Children program.

 

Part A: Divorce Education Seminar

This is a one-time, three and one-half hour class focused on the differences between children and parents' reactions to divorce. A major emphasis is placed on alerting parents, as well as stepparents, to the many ways in which children are put in the middle. Once parents are made aware of children's needs during and after divorce, it becomes a matter of choice: do parents elect to be part of the solution or, if too consumed by their own emotions and desire to 'win', run the risk of causing their children serious adjustment problems? Either way, the stakes are high - as conveyed, passionately at times, by a combination of lecture, question-and-answer, a moving video, and structured role-plays.

Included in the tuition for this class is a collection of written materials, booklets, a book, and follow-up resources. Parents almost always attend this class without the other birth parent. Space permitting, new spouses and significant others, grandparents, as well, are welcome to attend.

Part A is held Tuesday evenings from 5:30 until 9:00, and alternating Saturdays from 10:00 a.m. until 1:30. $75 per person; new spouse or significant other may attend for a small additional fee, on a space-available basis. Please click here for a pre-enrollment form.

 

 
 
Part B: Coparenting

A three-part, ten-hour class parents attend together. (Stepparents and new significant others are not permitted to attend with the birth parents, but may enroll in a class scheduled for different dates.) There is a strong emphasis in this class on skill building.

Two instructors (one male, the other, female), with their hands firmly 'on the reins', direct participants in a step-by-step fashion to practicing skills needed to conduct child-centered business with one another.

Click here to view testimonials.

  
 
A sampling of such skills include negotiation, communicating respectfully, strategic ways of influencing others (including children) to cooperate, and empowering others with reasonable choices. This class is not counseling or psychotherapy. (In some states, however, mental health professionals who teach our Coparenting program must adhere to established standards of ethics and practice - in effect, treating Coparenting as if it were psychotherapy.)

A typical class consists of five Mom & Dad 'teams' - for a total of ten participants. In all but one of the California offerings of Coparenting, dinner is included at not extra charge. Most often, these classes meet on weeknights from 5:30 to 9:00. The 'Part A' class (or an equivalent) is an absolute prerequisite for 'Part B' (Coparenting).

Co-parents are scheduled to take the same Co-parenting class together. If interested, new spouses and 'significant others' may attend Co-parenting on a different evening. Grandparents and guardians may attend Co-parenting, along with one or both of the birth (biological) parents -- if doing so is part of an official court order. We welcome co-parents from same-sex unions, as well as never-married parents.

We are often asked, "Can I take Co-parenting by myself if my co-parent won't attend with me?". We regret that we no longer make exceptions to the requirement that co-parents take the class together. If only one parent makes himself or herself available, and we are unsuccessful in securing a commitment from the other parent to attend, we will (if asked) write a letter documenting one parent's willingness to take Co-parenting. Upon reading such a letter, some judges will make it known in no uncertain terms that both parents are ordered to take Co-parenting.

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Part C: Advanced Co-Parenting

Parents meet together with an experienced staff member to resolve disagreements about subjects such as parenting times and children’s participation in organized sports.  Other subjects suited for these intensive work sessions are child-parental alienation, move-aways, private versus public schooling, and problems arising from disagreements between a birth parent and the other parent’s new spouse (or significant other).  Third parties, such as stepparents and grandparents, are welcome after the first meeting ….subject to agreement between the parents and our staff member.

Depending on the interests of the parties, or terms specified in court orders, ‘Part C’ may be confidential or non-confidential.  If requested or court-ordered, our staff will provide a written summary of agreements reached and, if requested, commentary on possible ways to settle remaining disagreements.  Agreements reached in ‘Part C’ can become the basis of a formal Stipulated Order, which may be submitted to the court by parents or their attorneys.  (Parents representing themselves in court may prepare and submit a stipulated order on their own.)

While we do not as part of ‘Part C’ issue written recommendations to the court, we are prepared when parents authorize us to do so to confer with attorneys, court mediators, custody evaluators, and children’s counselors.

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Case Management: 'Special Master' or 'Parent Coordinator'

A growing number of States have enacted legislation authorizing family law courts to appoint a third party, usually a mental health professional or attorney, to oversee and ‘micro-manage’ families both during and after court proceedings.  California has not yet adopted this highly effective, cost-efficient alternative to families’ struggling in sometimes endless court battles which not only deplete resources (emotional as well as financial), but leave children vulnerable to the damaging effects of ongoing parental conflict.

Parents in California may elect to ask the court to appoint a Special Master to assist the family in resolving disputes such as scheduling children’s sports activities or parents’ access to their children by phone.  Both parents must agree to such an appointment, and agree on the Special Master’s authority in specified areas.  There is usually a provision in the order outlining either parent’s right to terminate the services of the Special Master.

By agreement, without a court order, parents may agree to employ a qualified individual to function in the capacity of a ‘case manager’.  This role, while not conferring quasi-judicial authority, can help streamline parental decision making and resolution of parental agreements outside of court.  Case managers can, if authorized, confer with attorneys, as well as family members’ health care providers (psychotherapists, physicians).

Parents or attorneys interested in these services are requested to call (909 885-4545) and schedule a phone consultation with a staff member experienced in doing Special Master work.

  
 

 

Solutions for Children
Available in San Bernardino and Temecula Valley

 A licensed marriage family therapist (LMFT) or licensed art therapist works closely with children from one family (as opposed to a group of children from multiple families).  This program is built around an acclaimed divorce education curriculum for children, as well as materials developed by our own staff.  Cost and number of meetings depend on the size of the family, children’s ages, and extent of follow-up with parents.  Both parents must authorize minor children’s participation, unless one parent has sole legal custody.

 

 
 
Consultation and Counseling

Licensed mental health professionals in our office provide a range of services to families challenged by divorce. Psychotherapy is available for younger children, adolescent, and adults. Arrangements can be made for trying to iron out differences and misunderstandings between birth parents and one or more stepparents. Assistance is also available for 'blended' families.

Click here to view testimonials for our services.

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© 2008 Solutions for Families